I. Love. Instagram.

I love that I have a medium to use to promote my makeups, etc and only people that are interested will actually look at, maaaybe even click that little heart button to show me some love.  Unlike Facebook for example where normally no one gives a shit.

HOWEVER, every so often some horrific trend comes out of Instagram which is absolutely ridiculous.  Here’s a short list of the absolute worst in no particular order.

1. Squiggle Eyebrows 

What. The. Fuck?

Yes, yes, it’s very creative and not bad to look at but I just know where this is going to go… it’s transcend if it hasn’t already from Instagram to YouTube and I swear to GOD if someone comes to me for a  makeup appointment and asks for this I will actually quit, there and then.  This isn’t even the worst photo I could find, I could just about bear to have this on my post.  It’s been traced back as far as blogger Promise Tamang and I really need to have a word with her to see if she’s aware of what she has started.  I go onto Instagram for inspiration and to share my work with others – this I will not be sharing.

2. Squiggle fucking Lips

The eyebrow trend has really only taken off within the last few weeks and already we have moved onto Squiggle Lips.  Can we just get a grip here?  I refuse to speak too much about this because this is most ridicularse thing I have ever seen come from a trend.  Squiggle lips? Are you kidding me?  I have only just got to grips with taking the time to use concealer to perfect my overdrawn pout.  I can understand the appeal of doing something funky with the ends of brows but not this. NOT THIS PEOPLE.  Also, I have just realised she has squiggle eyeliner too.  Give. Me. Strength.

3.  Leech Facials

NOPE.  Can’t even bring myself to attach a photo to this point but Miranda Kerr, I am looking at you for this one.  Unless them damn leeches can reverse time or turn me into a unicorn I ain’t putting any of them near my face!

4.  New Post

Not exactly a beauty trend, but still something that pisses me off.

Attention Instagrammers! Can you please stop taking screenshots of your own account and scribbling out the picture you  uploaded while writing over the scribble NEW POST.  I don’t understand this?  If people are following you and you have just posted, unless they have blocked your sorry ass aren’t they going to see it pop up on their page anyway? Pointless.

I am unsure why this grinds my gears so much – I just don’t get it.  Is it effective? Should I be doing this..?

 

 

 

5. Contouring with Ridiculous Objects

I mean, as a Make Up Artist I get especially peeved when customers open their eyes and give you the stare while asking ‘Can you contour me? I want to look like Kim Kardashian.’  Contouring has become something widely known now and regular people ie. not MUAS are able to use it at home albeit some still find it a challenge to complete.  With that in  mind why are there now people using spoons, credit cards, fucking fidget spinners and all sorts to draw on their faces with for contouring?  ENOUGH. Brushes are there for a reason.  Using a seriously straight edge like credit card will only make you look like a bad Madame Tussauds piece of work.

Stop it.  Just stop it.

6. 100 layers

I am pretty certain this has died?  I wasn’t overly annoyed by it until Jenna Marbles took it to the extreme and spent like 9 hours painting on 100 layers of nail polish, 100 layers of lip gloss, 100 sprays of fake tan (SRS) and put on 100 eyelashes and all the other wacky shit she did.  Even so, we have got to be done with this.

 

 

 

 

7.  Household items as beauty blenders – marshmallows, etc – NO.

8. Using your iPhone back as a palette – SERIOUSLY YOUNG PEOPLE?  You may as well just stick the middle finger up at those less fortunate who don’t have the things you have. Are you really that flimsy with your belongings?

9.  So like, is everyone a Unicorn now?  We get it.  They are unique.  You are NOT.

I love how all these people always post ‘No negativity please’ like they already know it’s dumb.

Gone are the days of cute makeups, glam makeups and subtle makeups – now the trends got me like Gordon.